Anxiety in TeensA Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child

What is teen anxiety?

Teen anxiety is the overwhelming fear, worry, or angst that arises in adolescence and can interfere with a teenager’s daily functioning and overall quality of life. Anxiety is a common issue in both children and teens, often experienced at different phases of development.

Anxiety disorders can be first diagnosed in children between the ages of four and eight, but they become more common as children age into adolescence. According to a recent survey, around 20 percent of teens in the U.S. reported experiencing anxiety symptoms within the past two weeks. Other research indicates that about one in four teens have some form of anxiety disorder

Before adolescence, kids are more likely to fret over the external world—creepy bugs, boogeymen, and playground injuries. As they age, their anxieties are more likely to center on internal issues. Teens might feel more insecure about their bodies as puberty occurs. Or they become fixated on fitting in and avoiding embarrassment. They might also feel anxious about their academic performance and future.

Teen anxiety can show up in all sorts of ways. Your teen may seem more irritable or distant than usual, or appear more hesitant to go to school. Teens are also at the age at which their newfound sense of independence can lead them to unhealthy coping mechanisms, like turning to drugs or alcohol to manage their anxiety.

It’s not always easy to recognize the difference between normal worries and anxiety disorders in teens. Young people often worry about their schoolwork or taking exams, but this is usually temporary and declines once the immediate stressor has passed. However, when worrying becomes constant and overwhelming, it can interfere with your child’s daily functioning.

While coping with your child’s anxiety can be a difficult situation for you as a parent, anxiety is a highly treatable condition. There is also a great deal you can do to help your child. Rather than assume that your teen will outgrow their anxiety, it’s better to start taking steps as soon as possible to help your child deal with their symptoms and regain control of how they view the world around them.

Symptoms of anxiety in teens

The symptoms of anxiety vary considerably and often go undiagnosed in children and adolescents. For teenagers, the majority of their worries are connected with feelings about themselves. These may encompass academic performance and pressures to succeed in school, how they are perceived by others, and concerns about their body image connected with physical development.

Anxiety in teens is not always apparent because they tend to disguise their thoughts and feelings. Some of the signs to look out for are:

• Constant fears or worries about routine aspects of their lives.
• Withdrawal from friends or social activities.
• Irritability or lashing out at others.
• Difficulties in school or sudden poor performance.
• Refusal to go to school.
• Sleep problems.
• Substance abuse.
• Constantly seeking reassurance.

How anxiety symptoms differ between teens and children

Anxiety symptoms can look different in teens compared to younger children. Teens often try to hide or downplay their troubles, but younger children may be more open and expressive about their discomfort. For example, while an anxious teen might self-isolate or act standoffish, an anxious child might frequently cry or complain about headaches or stomachaches. Or a young child may physically cling to you in stressful situations.

Other signs of anxiety you might notice in a younger child include:

• Shyness, difficulty making friends, or participating in other social activities.
• Difficulty concentrating.
• Irritability, tantrums, or anger issues.
• Being tense or fidgety.

Whatever your child’s specific symptoms, anxiety can have a negative effect on their thoughts, emotions, and physical health. This, in turn, can interfere with their ability to function both academically and socially. Helping them deal with the problem starts by recognizing the causes of their anxiety symptoms.

Causes of anxiety in teenagers

There are many reasons why teens become anxious. Anxiety disorders are most likely caused by a combination of environmental and biological factors. Anxiety tends to run in families, and is more common in girls than boys. Adolescents may also have more than one type of anxiety at the same time.

Anxiety disorders encompass various types of mental health issues, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder, and other specific phobias. Some children also have separation anxiety with fear and distress about being away from home.

Children and adolescents may have more than one type of anxiety at the same time. The three most common types of anxiety in children are separation anxiety, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety.

The onset of an anxiety disorder is often triggered by stressful events, such as abrupt changes in their lives, difficulties in school, having additional responsibilities beyond their level of maturity, stress from family situations, or traumatic experiences, including being bullied or other forms of abuse.

Parents who are anxious themselves or overprotective of their children may also contribute to a teen’s anxiety. Research conducted in 2021 highlighted how the support of parents was a crucial factor for adolescent mental health. By encouraging your child to develop coping strategies, such as acceptance, distraction, and a positive mindset, you can help to strengthen their well-being and ease their stress and anxiety.

Causes of anxiety in teens vs. anxiety in younger children

Certain anxiety disorders are more common in teens than children and vice versa. For example, separation anxiety, which involves fear and distress about being away from home, is most common in young children. On the other hand, social anxiety disorder, which involves a fixation on being judged or embarrassed by others, is more common in teenagers.

The role of social media in teen anxiety

Adolescents and teenagers, in particular, spend countless hours on their smartphones texting and messaging friends, and engaging on their Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitter accounts. Receiving social media notifications all day long can influence their thoughts and feelings about themselves. In some respects, this can be an enjoyable, positive experience, but in others, it may also heighten anxiety and feelings of isolation and depression.

While social media can help kids and teens stay connected and maintain closer ties to friends and family, it can also promote bullying and negatively impact self-image and self-esteem.

One study of more than 6,500 12 to 15-year-olds in the U.S. indicated that those who spent more than three hours a day on social media were at increased risk for mental health problems. An internal study conducted on Facebook in 2021 revealed that teens can have difficulties with heightened social comparison and peer pressure, with Instagram cited as one source that may worsen existing mental health issues.

Read: Social Media and Mental Health.

Tips for helping a teenager with anxiety

As a parent, you likely wish you could magically “cure” your teen’s anxiety. Although that’s not possible, there are some steps you can take to help them.

It starts with talking to them in a way that makes them feel supported. You can also model healthy reactions to anxiety and encourage stress-reducing habits, such as practicing relaxation exercises and being mindful of social media usage.

Finally, helping them build their self-esteem can also boost their overall resilience and sense of well-being.

Tip 1: Talk to your teen about anxiety

This may sound intuitive, but as a parent dealing with a child who has anxiety it’s important you remain as calm and hopeful as possible. Simply telling them not to worry or to stop thinking about their problems is neither supportive nor validating. It’s better to reassure them that it’s okay for them to be scared. The way you respond to their thoughts and behaviors can have a significant impact on their ability to cope.

Reassure your teen that anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. Anxiety can serve as a protective emotion under certain circumstances. It makes us aware of potential dangers and helps keep us safe. That uneasy feeling in the gut that we experience at times may be a signal of a potential threat. Since paying attention to these warning signs is a way to avoid harmful situations, feeling anxious can have a positive purpose.

Keep an open dialog with your teen. Maintaining effective communication with teens can be difficult and even uncomfortable at times. Teenagers won’t always confide in their parents as they become more independent. Having a supportive communication style will enhance trust and comfort in sharing their feelings.

Establish regular communication and inquire about their day. They may not go into great detail, but they’ll know you’re genuinely interested and concerned about them.

Use active listening skills. Teens look to parents for supportive connections and ways to vent their feelings. By actively listening and validating their feelings without judgement or criticism, you can help ease their symptoms of anxiety. Give your teen your undivided attention, making eye contact to show you’re interested in what they’re saying, and nodding occasionally to show that you’re really listening. Steer away from interrupting your teen while they’re speaking.

[Read: Effective Communication]

Prepare how to handle difficult situations. When talking about how your teen responded to an anxiety-inducing situation, offer some alternative methods that may be more effective. If your teen received a failing grade on an exam, for example, and reacted by labeling themselves as stupid or thinking they’ll never graduate, you can help reframe these irrational thoughts (known as cognitive distortions). Help them look at the problem in a more realistic way by emphasizing that it is only one test, and they can improve their grades by studying harder or working with a tutor.

Tip 2: Be a positive role model

Even though they’re not a little kid anymore, your teen likely looks up to you and takes cues from you on how to manage stress and anxiety. The way you deal with frustration and express anger is a prime example. Try to remain as calm and patient as possible when dealing with problems and challenging situations. The way you speak and what you speak about can also have a huge influence on even a difficult teenager’s values and behavior.

Practice healthy habits. Parents who take care of themselves can encourage their children to do the same. Make sure your teen is getting enough quality sleep, exercising regularly, and eating a healthy diet. Too much caffeine, smoking or vaping, underage drinking, or viewing screens within an hour of bedtime can all disrupt your child’s sleep and worsen their anxiety symptoms.

Demonstrate self-compassion. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes, and don’t get caught up in doing everything perfectly. Make it clear that, although you have flaws, you can still overcome adversity. Avoid making negative comments about your own body, though, since this can lead to poor self-image and body shaming.

Keep things in perspective. Discuss the rational and irrational responses to the challenges that arise in your lives, whether they are related to work, finances, social relationships, or general life concerns. Acknowledge that certain circumstances can be anxiety-provoking but put them into the proper perspective to avoid having these feelings blown out of proportion and creating further anxiety.

Tip 3: Practice relaxation techniques with your teen

Practicing relaxation techniques can ease tension, calm the nervous system, and help your teen manage stress and anxiety.

Offer to practice techniques with your teen. Try a meditation exercise such as mindful breathing together. This consists of focusing on your breathing and bringing attention to the present moment. Have your teen close their eyes and breathe slowly in and out. While they breathe, they can scan their body for areas of tension. They can then visualize a feeling of warmth and comfort to ease the discomfort in these areas.

Practice turning off cell phones and tuning into a “happy place.” Your teen can summon up a specific memory or situation that makes them feel calm, secure, and content. This might be associated with spending time on the beach, for example, a vacation spot that was peaceful, or being surrounded by nature. Using visualization of beautiful images or pleasant sounds is an ideal way to tap into this state of relaxation.

Encourage them to experiment with other practices. Teens may also enjoy exploring various types of yoga, meditation, guided imagery, and other relaxation techniques on their own.

Look for signs of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Some habits, such as self-medicating anxiety with alcohol and drugs, may be especially enticing to teens. However, this can be a recipe for worsening mental health issues. Aim to steer your teen away from these unhealthy coping strategies and direct them toward healthier ways to manage anxiety.

Tip 4: Encourage healthy social media use

Since studies reveal both its beneficial and harmful effects, having discussions with children about the pros and cons of social media is a good place to start.

Instead of simply trying to force your child to put their phone away—which may only add to their anxiety—there are more positive steps you can take:

• Set a good example to your child by limiting your own screen time and involvement with social media.
• Encourage your child to socialize more with friends in person and participate in creative activities rather than focus on the number of “likes” their social media posts attract.
• Set aside a designated time when the whole family is screen-free from phones and computers. This can be a daily activity for a short period of time, or over a weekend when you’re occupied with family activities.
• Remind teens especially that the images they see on social media are often digitally altered and not an accurate representation of real-life. Similarly, posts about parties or events they weren’t invited to are often made to look more fun than they really were.
• Encourage your child to cut ties with those who post negative comments about them and urge them to be responsible when posting comments about others. Teens especially can be impulsive and not realize the content they’re sharing may be hurtful or inappropriate.

Tip 5: Build your teen’s self-esteem

To help build your teen’s self-esteem, highlight their strengths instead of their weaknesses. Rather than focusing on their anxiety, you can emphasize their positive attributes. It can be as simple as complimenting your teen on their thoughtfulness, kindness, or consideration of others.

Your teen may also have strong intellectual or character traits that make them stand out as individuals. Point out that their uniqueness is something to be celebrated as opposed to feeling as if they don’t fit in.

Acknowledge their abilities. If your teen does well on an exam or school assignment, you can do more than just praise them. You can also remind them about the amount of time they devoted to study and preparation. This will show them the value of their effort to succeed rather than always worrying about the outcome.

Encourage hobbies. If your teen has a particular interest or aptitude, such as art, music, or athletics, help them nurture that area of their life. Showing how proud you are and acknowledging the rewards of their dedication will bolster their confidence. Mastering any type of skill will build self-esteem and divert attention away from their anxiety. Remember, this is not about trying to be perfect; the goal is to extend their best effort to succeed based on their abilities.

Reframe setbacks. If a setback occurs, reassure your teen that this is not a failure but a learning experience that will help them overcome future obstacles. Talk to them about what they could change the next time around to have a better outcome. They’ll feel more empowered as they take control of the situation.

Be aware of the expectations you set. Teens can often feel overwhelmed by high expectations and the pressure to succeed. Keeping goals realistic can help guide them towards academic improvement without adding to their anxieties about grades and test scores.

Show them the value of helping others. Becoming involved in worthwhile activities that help others can boost a teen’s self-esteem and be a productive, healthy distraction from their anxiety. Encourage them to look for volunteer opportunities in the community for causes they’re passionate about. Joining a group or club with other teens who share their interests can also improve social skills and provide a sense of belonging

Tip 6: Learn how to help a teen having a panic attack

Panic attacks can be extremely frightening, both for children to experience and parents to observe. The onset often occurs during adolescence, but it may start during childhood, as well. These episodes can last as long as 10 to 15 minutes, with a variety of symptoms, such rapid heartbeat, sweating, chest pain, dizziness, and feelings of choking.

You can educate your teen about panic attacks so they understand more about why they occur—and reassure them that even though the physical sensations may be scary, they are not harmful or life-threatening. For example, you can explain to them that the tightness in their chest isn’t a heart attack, but rather just a passing discomfort. Misinterpreting that discomfort simply fuels the panic.

You can also assist your child or teen while they are having a panic attack. Being a comforting presence and expressing empathy is a key factor. Remind them that the panic attack will be over in a few minutes, and try to shift the focus to more pleasant diversions. Engaging in exercise, playing games, watching TV, or doing breathing and relaxation techniques or other things they enjoy can help.

Kids may try to avoid certain situations, such as going to school or leaving home out of fear of having a panic attack. But encouraging your child to continue their daily routines connected with school and social activities can help ensure the fear of a panic attack will not interfere with their normal development.

When to seek professional help

If you do not see sufficient improvement in your teen’s anxiety, it may be time to seek additional support from a professional counselor or therapist.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is most commonly recommended for treating anxiety in children and teens, and it can be done either in-person or virtually through online therapy platforms. Cognitive behavioral therapy works by changing the way your child thinks in order to modify their dysfunctional behaviors and emotions. The treatment works best when you find the most suitable therapist for your teen.

Medication can also be used for treating anxiety in teenagers. Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are a type of antidepressant most often prescribed for this purpose. Anti-anxiety medications may also be used for children and teens who have more severe forms of anxiety that disrupt their daily functioning.

Even when medication is necessary, it’s often recommended that kids and teens also pursue CBT and develop their coping skills in order provide a long-term solution to their anxiety issues.

Anxiety and teens

Adolescence is a time of big changes, and many teens find that feelings of anxiety further complicate whatever they’re going through. Intense social anxiety can make it harder for them to fit in, and panic attacks might lead them to self-isolation.

However, no matter what form anxiety takes, it can be managed in many ways. As a parent, you can play a key role in showing your child the way forward. When you help them build resilience and self-confidence, your teen will recognize their ability to problem-solve on their own.