What it Means to be Neurodivergent

What is neurodivergence?

Coined by Judy Singer in 1997, the concept of “neurodiversity” acknowledges the differences in the human brain. Instead of saying people with neurodevelopmental differences—such as autism, ADHD, or dyslexia—are “broken” or need to be “fixed,” neurodiversity accepts that natural differences occur. People think, learn, communicate, and process things differently, and there’s nothing amiss in that.

To fully understand neurodiversity, it helps to know two related terms: neurotypical and neurodivergent.

Neurotypical refers to a person whose brain functions and processes in what society would deem a “typical” or standard way. If you are neurotypical, you may find it easier to meet societal expectations. You may be able to navigate conversations without much thought, for example, or feel at ease in classrooms that use traditional learning methods. You likely don’t experience irregular sensory issues, and as a child, you probably met all the standard developmental milestones.

The experiences of a neurodivergent person can be very different. If you’re neurodivergent, your brain works in ways that other people may not expect. For example, you could feel intensely focused on a particular interest for long periods of time, or your communication style or sensory experiences may not quite match those of your peers. You might feel as if you need to “mask” your true self to fit in.

However, “different” doesn’t necessarily mean “bad” or “unhealthy.” In fact, some researchers argue that there’s no such thing as a “normal brain.” Learning to celebrate our differences can reduce societal prejudice. And learning to build on your strengths and shore up your weaknesses can be an empowering journey.

Types of neurodivergence

The term “neurodivergent” can be applied to a wide range of neurodevelopmental differences, including:

Autism (ASD). Autism includes traits such as sensory sensitivities, narrow interests, repetitive behaviors, and difficulty with social communication, such as reading nonverbal cues.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Signs of ADHD include difficulty regulating attention (such as being unusually forgetful, unfocused, or disorganized), hyperactivity (such as restlessness and fidgeting), and impulsivity.

Dyslexia and other learning differences. Dyslexia involves difficulty with reading, dyscalculia involves difficulty with math, and dysgraphia involves difficulty with writing. Although these tend to be the most well-known, there are other learning differences, including dyspraxia, which comes with physical movement and coordination issues.

Sensory processing disorder. Sensory processing disorders occur when the brain has difficulty receiving, interpreting, or regulating information from the senses. The feel of a particular fabric may be intensely uncomfortable, for example, specific sounds seem overwhelming, or you’re under-responsive to certain smells.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. Many other conditions may fall under the umbrella of neurodiversity. For example, Tourette syndrome, which involves motor and vocal tics, and Down syndrome, which can come with intellectual disability, may both be considered neurodiverse conditions.

It’s also possible that the definition of neurodivergent will continue to expand as society’s perceptions change.

Overlapping and co-occurring conditions

Neurodivergent conditions can overlap and co-occur. For example, many people with ADHD or autism also have unusual sensory experiences and sensitivities. In addition, it’s not uncommon for people with ADHD to also be dyslexic, and many autistic people meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD.

Neurodiverse conditions can also occur alongside mental health issues, such as anxiety disorders and mood disorders.

When conditions overlap, the challenges you face may feel more numerous. Even receiving an accurate diagnosis and self-care plan can become more complicated.

Challenges faced if you’re neurodivergent

Many neurodivergent people get the sense that society isn’t designed for them. Everything from social interactions to classroom structure to workplace environments can leave you feeling uncomfortable, isolated, and underrepresented.

Social challenges

If you’re neurodivergent, social stigma may seem to be an ever-present obstacle. Neurodivergent thinking and behavior often go against what society expects or deems as “good.” For example, some societies place a high value on being extroverted and focused. However, some people with autism may not be sociable, and people with ADHD can be distractible. Other people may try to define you by your deficits rather than your strengths.

Interpersonal interactions can also be daunting for neurodivergent people. You might feel isolated or lonely if others don’t share your hyper-fixation with a subject. Or you may feel anxious or frustrated when sensory sensitivities make it difficult to follow a conversation. You might even leave a social situation believing you would’ve been better off just staying home.

Educational challenges

Certain aspects of your condition might make it difficult to learn in a traditional classroom environment. Classmates chattering or bright lights can make it hard to focus on the lesson. The lesson itself may be presented in a way that’s difficult for you to understand. For example, written materials won’t be as useful if you are dyslexic. And teachers may not understand your needs or be willing to accommodate you.

Seeing your peers progress through lessons while you struggle can be a frustrating experience.

[Read: ADHD and School]

Workplace challenges

Neurodivergent people tend to experience higher unemployment rates than their neurotypical counterparts. This could partially be due to employers often placing a high value on certain skills like communication, which might be a weak spot for someone with autism, ADHD, or Tourette syndrome.

In fact, issues can crop up as early as the interview process. You may have an impressive knowledge of the field, for example, but have difficulty understanding the interviewer’s nonverbal cues.

Even when you have the job, you may find that the work environment, standards, and culture are all built around neurotypical needs and behaviors. Long meetings feel incredibly dull and your mind can’t help but wander, or the light and noise of the office may feel overwhelming. If your employer or coworkers are inflexible, you can feel stressed out and less productive as you try to conform to an uncomfortable environment.

[Read: Autism at Work: Overcoming Challenges]

Mental health considerations

Neurodivergent people are more likely to experience mental health challenges than neurotypicals. Some of this may be the result of trying to “mask” or camouflage your neurodivergent traits to better fit in.

To some degree, this approach might be helpful. You may have been able to mask your way through an interview or other high-stakes social situation. But there’s some evidence that suppressing aspects of your identity can come with mental health consequences. Trying to hide your natural traits can be stressful and exhausting, and it’s lonely to think that no one seems to know the “real you.” All of this can lead to issues like anxiety, depression, or even suicidal ideation.

Some of the anxiety and depression may also be performance-based. If you have condition like dysgraphia, you may feel shame about your weaknesses. Or if you have ADHD, you may feel anxious about how difficult it is to succeed in a traditional classroom setting.

Despite the many challenges, it is possible to overcome hurdles, tap into your strengths, and thrive as a neurodivergent person.

Building on your strengths if you’re neurodivergent

Even when society tends to focus on the weaknesses of neurodivergent minds, it’s important to remember that plenty of strengths exist as well. For instance, some research shows that children with dyslexia may have better peripheral perception than their neurotypical peers. They may also have an unusual knack for creative problem-solving.

Similarly, adults with ADHD often report that their neurodivergence leads them to be more creative and adventurous.

Another example is that some autistic people become highly interested in a small number of subjects—a thinking style known as monotropism. Although this can be characterized as a “weakness,” it also presents an opportunity to become a subject-matter expert or extremely skilled in specialized areas.

Neurodivergent people often make significant contributions to various fields and achieve incredible feats. Some examples include businessman Bill Gates (dyslexia and ADHD), Olympic gymnast Simone Biles (ADHD), filmmaker Tim Burton (autism), and quite possibly even Albert Einstein (ADHD, dyslexia, and autism).

Of course, fame and riches aren’t the only measures of success and happiness. In your daily life, you can use your unique perspective and talents to improve your workplace, better the lives of people you encounter, and foster healthy connections.

It all starts with embracing your own identity and acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses. From there, you can build resilience and learn to adapt to life’s challenges. Learning self-care practices and recognizing when you need additional help can further enhance your overall well-being.

Tip 1: Embrace your identity

You can help deflect the pain of prejudice or stigma by embracing your neurodivergent identity, and taking pride in who you are. Think of this as a step on a longer journey. There will always be more to learn about yourself, and, in doing so, you’ll have an easier time accepting your uniqueness and advocating for yourself and others facing similar challenges.

Note how your traits affect your daily life. Does being in a crowd overload your senses? Or does making to-do lists calm you down and help you feel more organized? The more you understand about yourself, the more empowered you’ll feel, and the better you’ll be able to advocate for your wants and needs.

Learn from others. Watch videos about the history of ADHD, read books on autism, learn more about the human brain and the many ways in which people experience the world. Hearing about the experiences of other neurodivergent people may also help you find new strategies to improve your life.

Note your strengths. You have unique talents and skills—even if they sometimes go unacknowledged by others. Focus on what you do well, whether that’s a knack for creative problem-solving, visual thinking, or your honesty or attention to detail.

Identify areas that you need help in. Everyone has their weaknesses. While you don’t want to define yourself by them, it’s useful to acknowledge them. You can then learn skills to shore up those weaknesses or find other ways to compensate.

Deciding to share your diagnosis

If you have a formal diagnosis, you may want to consider sharing it with trusted people in your life. It can provide them a better understanding of how your brain works and how to best support you.

In the workplace or at school, it’s natural to feel more wary about disclosing your diagnosis. You may worry that your coworkers or classmates will begin to treat you differently.

However, disclosure can be beneficial in spaces where employers and coworkers are nonjudgmental or even familiar with neurodivergence. Disclosure also allows you to request accommodations that can make you feel more comfortable and effective at your job.

Whatever you decide, know that it’s always a personal decision that depends on your own comfort level.

Tip 2: Build resilience and adaptability

No matter what challenges arise as a neurodivergent person, building resilience can empower you to overcome obstacles and keep moving forward. In the same vein, a willingness to adapt will help you grow as a person and find new solutions. Here are some tips for building resilience and adaptability.

Turn to tools and tech. With your weaknesses in mind, make use of assistive tools that make your daily tasks—including work, chores, and socializing—easier. These can include:

• Note-taking apps and calendars for tracking important dates.
• Noise-cancelling headphones to help manage sensory discomfort.
• Fidget devices for managing restlessness.
• Color-coded labels to organize your household or office in a visual way.
• Adjustable lighting to create a relaxing bedroom.
• Text-to-speech and speech-to-text tech to make writing or reading easier.

What works for others might not work for you, so a little trial and error may be necessary.

Seek community. Reaching out to friends, family, and coworkers is key to building resilience. You can also connect with other neurodivergent people, either through local meetups, support groups, or social media. This can help give you a sense of belonging. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with people who understand you can make you feel heard and supported.

Practice flexibility. Strict routines can make your world feel safe and predictable. But, on occasion, challenge yourself to stray from the schedule. Take a different route to work, make a last-minute change to dinner plans, or try out a new hobby on a whim. This can help you keep a flexible mindset and make the unexpected changes that inevitably occur in life feel less daunting.

Notice opportunities for growth. From bad interviews to unsuccessful attempts at advocating for yourself, setbacks happen. Try your best to reframe these moments as learning opportunities. What can you do differently next time? What are some other ways to achieve your goal?

Tip 3: Practice self-care

Self-care is especially important for neurodivergent individuals. From sensory overload to social misunderstandings, you likely encounter all sorts of stressors throughout the day. Carving out time for yourself can help improve your sense of well-being.

Try out the following self-care tips and hold on to whatever works for you.

Create a routine. Although you don’t want to take it to an extreme, a routine can give you a healthy sense of structure. This can be helpful whether you feel overwhelmed or struggle with staying on task. Consider using physical and digital tools, such as planners and alarms, to set and maintain your routine.

Get active. Physical activity is a simple way to manage stress and boost your mood. It can also have specific benefits for certain neurodivergent traits. For example, some studies show that it can improve attention and reduce hyperactivity in people with ADHD. Come up with an exercise routine that works for you, selecting activities that you genuinely enjoy. Maybe you like doing laps in the local pool or biking around the neighborhood.

Clearly state your boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries can sometimes be challenging if you have difficulty communicating or experience intense anxiety. However, it’s important to practice. Boundaries can help you protect your time and energy. For example, if you feel fatigued after socializing, consider limiting how often you go out with friends. Communicate this boundary in a polite but straightforward way. You can tell your friends, “I love spending time with you, but I might need to leave early.”

Create a space at home that’s soothing. Your surroundings can significantly affect how you feel, so make adjustments to improve your comfort. Start by considering elements like room color palettes, lighting, and sounds. If you’re sensitive to light, try out soft lighting options. Also consider keeping items like noise-canceling headphones, weighted blankets, and cozy pillows handy. Communicate your preferences to anyone you’re living with.

Experiment with relaxation techniques. When stress and anxiety feel out of control, relaxation techniques like breathing exercises and a body scan meditation can soothe you. Many of these techniques involve mindfulness, which is nonjudgmental engagement with the present moment. Some early studies show that mindfulness practices may help reduce levels of anxiety in autistic people and improve emotional self-awareness.

Practice good sleep hygiene. Research suggests that neurodivergent people may be more prone to experience sleep difficulties, such as insomnia and parasomnias. So, developing good sleep habits is essential.

• Develop a soothing pre-bed routine. Maybe you wind down with a hot bath or do a journaling exercise to unload your worries or fixations.
• Set the scene for sleep. Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.
• Reduce the use of stimulants before bed. For example, too much caffeine during the day can affect your sleep quality.
• Consider your sensory needs. Are certain textures, sounds, or smells more likely to improve your sleep quality?

Tip 4: Know when to seek professional help

Anyone can benefit from therapy, so if you feel motivated to talk to a therapist, be proactive and start your search. That said, here are some signs that you should prioritize that search.

• You feel overwhelmed. Perhaps even basic tasks, such as showering or preparing meals, seem like too much to handle.
• You’re struggling with anxiety or depression. Maybe hopelessness and sadness seem to constantly be hanging over you. Or perhaps you can’t seem to stop ruminating. Cognitive distortions—negative thinking patterns or beliefs—seem unshakeable.
• You struggle with juggling daily activities. You might have a hard time sticking to your routine and this results in problems at work, school, or in your relationships.
• You have difficulty socializing. Maybe you’re having a hard time making or keeping friends. Or perhaps you feel mentally and emotionally drained after spending time with them.
• You’re examining your identity. You might feel confused about how your brain works or uncertain about your place in society. You want to gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

Consider looking for therapists who specialize in working with neurodivergent individuals. It might be easier to connect with a professional who already understands how your brain works. Online therapy platforms can be a good way to start your search for a therapist. Or, if you have neurodivergent friends who go to therapy, you can also ask them for recommendations.

[Read: Finding a Therapist Who Can Help You Heal]

Once you’ve found a therapist, know that building a relationship with them can take time—even if they’re familiar with neurodivergence. However, if you feel uncomfortable, misunderstood, or don’t see progress, consider searching for a new therapist.

The importance of acceptance and inclusion

Fully embracing neurodiversity means moving beyond tolerance and moving toward acceptance and understanding. Both neurodivergence and neurotypicals have roles to play in this.

If you’re neurodivergent, practice talking openly about your experiences and advocating for your needs. Know that your perspective is valuable and can lead to positive changes that benefit others like yourself. For example, sensory-friendly workspaces may become more common when more people ask for change. Open and honest conversations with your peers can also reduce stereotypes about neurodiverse conditions.

If you’re neurotypical, try to be curious and open to learning about how others experience the world. Be inclusive and empathetic. Look for ways to contribute to supportive environments in the workplace, in schools, and in society at large.

Last updated or reviewed on October 16, 2024